The sense of control over your day, work, and important things in your life gives you the feeling of power, less fear, anxiety, and stress.
The benefits of controlling only what you can are:
sense of freedom
increased capacity for joy
connect with people more deeply
increased happiness
If you try and control things in your day, work, and personal life that you can’t, you will have more fear, anxiety, and stress.
How do you do this?
Take out a pen and paper/journal
Do a massive brain dump and make a list of anything that causes you pressure, stress, anger, uncertainty that is happening today at work, on your personal to do list, or any relationship
Now see if there’s anything you can delete by asking yourself “Do I really need to do this today, or could I put it off to another day, or better yet delegate it to someone else to do?”
If I delete something off my list:
“What’s the worst thing that might happen?”
”What physical, mental, emotional, free time, social, financial, and any other extra credit benefits does it give me?”
Whatever remains on your list put the things you can control in 1 column and put the things you cannot in another column
The things in the can control list, make a plan for what you’re going to do to that will improve that situation, carry it out, and then review how well it worked
The things in the cannot control list, we can still control how we respond to them.
Think through the scenario to see if there actually is something that you have control in that would reduce feelings of powerlessness
Accept what you can’t control (that doesn’t mean you’re ok with it), give yourself some self-compassion, and reframe your thinking on the situation to a more positive one
Going forward, if you notice that something is sucking up your mental bandwidth, stop and ask yourself “Is this something that’s in my control?” and repeat this exercise.
NEXT STEPS
Click Here to Schedule your next Lifestyle Coaching Session
When you get near the end of scheduling this click “redeem coupon, package, or gift certificate” button (located above pay now)
Type in your email address and click apply
Then click the reserve button
References
Epel, E. (2022). The stress prescription. Random House USA.